Marik's Birthday
by GhostFairy
Summary: Abridged personalities. It's Marik's birthday, and he's determined to have the best party ever. Co-written with Dynamite and Soup.


**HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIK SEBASTIAN ISHTAR THE THIRD WE LOVE YOU!**

**We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. **

* * *

It was a blustery morning, 5 am to be exact, on one 23rd of December. Snow was floating down from the clouds and disappearing as soon as it hit the ground. But a certain Egyptian didn't notice or care as he hit the button for his alarm clock.

Today was his birthday, and he was making sure he was going to have the greatest party in all existence.

After he got up and got ready for the day, he got out his checklist titled: 'Things to do to ensure I have the greatest party in all existence'

"First, decorate the friggin apartment. Well this shouldn't be too har- HOLY FRIG!" Marik said to himself, just as he turned around and saw a gigantic pile of decorations on the floor. "When did those get there?!"

It took a few minutes, but Marik remembered going on an insane shopping spree, buying everything he thought he would need, and things he definitely didn't need, to make sure he would have an amazing party. "Well I better get to work."

Marik hung up streamers(purple) on the walls, set up the piñata(also purple) and 'Pin the hair on the Pharaoh' in the spare room. He then threw gold sparkles all over the place, and set up plates and cone party hats for all the guests. After blowing up about 20 purple balloons, he ran around wildly putting them up on any bare part of the walls in the apartment. Since they lacked helium, the balloons sank pitifully to the floor, despite the tape Marik had haphazardly placed on the wall to keep them up.

"Something's missing...," Marik muttered. Then it hit him. He grabbed a giant pile of papers and the complimentary paper shredder that had come with the apartment. He dropped the paper in. Then he ran around the rooms tossing the paper shreds everywhere. Instant confetti. Marik moved onto the next task on his list.

"Next, pick up the cake... IF THERE IS NOT BUTTERCREAM FROSTING ON THAT THING I AM GOING TO BLOW A EFF!ING GASKET!"

Marik donned his flying-squirrel suit and jumped out the window. He then glided down to the bakery and picked up his cake. Luckily, the bakers put on buttercream frosting and had written, as requested, on the cake in purple icing: 'Happy Birhday to the sexiest man on Earth that's not Leonardo DiCaprio'.

Marik paid for the cake and then got on the bus to go home. He got a lot of weird looks for the squirrel suit and the fact he was carrying a box with a big cake in it. Once he got back to his apartment, he got in the elevator for the sixth floor, and then went into room #12. He put the cake on the table and looked at the clock. It was only 6:13.

"Friggin Frig! People are gonna be here soon!" He looked at the next item on the list: Get the food and drinks out.

He set up 3 2-liter bottles of grape soda, and then made 50 tacos. It was almost seven when he got to the last item on the list: turn the toilet water purple.

He had just come out of the bathroom when he heard the doorbell ring. He ran to the door expecting his kitty or some other guest, and was disapointed when it was just the mailman.

"Sign here." The mailman said dully, holding out a paper for Marik to sign. He signed it and the guy gave him a cardboard box. Marik slammed the door in his face and put the box on the table, knowing that it was his present from Ishizu and Odion, as they were in Egypt rallying for a new constitution and wouldn't be coming to his party. He left it there and sat on the couch waiting for people to arrive.

Hours passed, and no one showed up. By 12, Marik figured the guests were only a teensy bit late and decided to start without them.

Because it was a surprise party, he figured he should start by walking outside and coming inside. He turned out the lights and went outside the door. He then ran back in, turned the lights on and screamed "OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!" The room was still void of people.

Marik went over to his iHome, plugged in his iPod, and started blasting Lady Gaga. After dancing like a maniac completely alone for half an hour, he crashed down on the couch and pretended to chat with guests.

He then started on the food. He drank half a liter of grape soda, and then went on to eat ten tacos. It felt a bit slow, so Marik started up a food fight with himself. Taco meat coating the walls, Marik grabbed the ice cubes off the table and threw them wildly up in the air. Exhausted, he collapsed to the ground and laid in a puddle of melted ice.

When he had to use the bathroom, the purple toilet water made him burst out into a fit of giggles. He ran out gleefully yelling, "Holy frig guys, you should check out the toilet!"

When it was 3 and still no one had showed up, he went on to play 'Pin the hair on the Pharaoh'. It took him 30 tries before he even pinned the hair on the paper, and 40 more tries before he got it in the right place.

After that, it was 4:45 and still, no one had showed up. He then went on to beat the shit out of the piñata, and eat 1/8 of all the candy inside.

After that, he figured it was present time. He opened up the box his siblings got him and read the card first.

"Master Marik, sorry we couldn't be there for your birthday, but our people needed us. If the government gets their hands on the Millennium Items, the world will be thrust into turmoil. Anyways, Happy Birthday, hope you like your presents. xoxo - Odion. P.S. Ishizu says hi.'" Marik read aloud.

He dug through the packing peanuts and with a "Sweet Mamajamma!" he drew out a pair of fuzzy socks and an ice cube tray autographed by The Green Lantern. He had no idea who that was, but he knew what he was gonna do with the ice cube tray.

He put his socks on and looked at the clock. It read 6:30. He put out his cake, but felt very tired, so he decided to lay down and sleep a little. His last thought was, "I wish everyone else could have had an awesome a time as I did." As soon as he was fast asleep, his door opened.

Bakura walked in to Marik's apartment, present in hand, and looked around the place. Music was playing, food was missing, the cake was out, there was candy wrappers and candy all over the floor, and Marik was asleep on the couch. Bakura tried shaking him awake. When that didn't work, Bakura kicked him. That worked.

"What the frig, Fluffy!? I was friggin sleeping! And why are you so friggin late!?"

Bakura raised an eyebrow at him.

"Late? Marik, it's 6:58. I'm actually early."

Marik gave him a wide eyed look, then bolted for the spare invitation he had on the fridge.

The only thing for time it said was 7. No am or pm after it.

"Wait a minute... Kitty, you're telling me that no one showed up because they thought the party started now!?"

"Pretty much. What kind of wanker would start a party at seven in the morning?"

Marik pointed to himself, and Bakura facepalmed himself.

"Well, who else did you invite?"

"No one. Just you. I figured this would be one of those parties where people show up uninvited to look cool. I guess it didn't work."

Bakura sighed again and then handed Marik his present.

"No one else is coming, Marik. I gotta go too. I don't trust myself alone with you." He mumbled the last part.

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Well, happy birthday Marik. See ya around." Bakura left and closed the door behind him.

Marik tore open the small box Bakura gave him and took out what was inside. Bakura was on the street when he heard Marik scream, "MY TAN IS 100% NATURAL YOU FRIGGIN FRIG!"


End file.
